Showing posts with label Etiquette. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Etiquette. Show all posts

Self-Discipline in Children – An Outdated Process or a Necessary Success Skill?

Hopefully this post title has got some of you thinking.  Below is a list of articles I think every parent today should read, whether you have toddlers, tweens, or teens.  Also below is a 2 minute video on how discipline at home as a child led to a highly successful life and below the main quote from the video.

“If you will create more order, discipline, and focus in your life, 
you'll gain more peace, freedom, and control.”  
- Laura Stack (Time Management & Productivity Expert)

Articles/posts on discipline for children: 

If you do not agree that discipline is an issue for future success, you may want to check out these older posts:


Good Manners and Sportsmanship - Important American Values

For the last few Sundays, my pastor has been talking about relationships and family.  During one sermon, he noted the five things below that we learn from our family and shared Deuteronomy 6:7 with us.
1.       What to do with feelings
2.       How to handle conflict
3.       How to handle loss (and losing)
4.       What values matter most
5.       How to develop good habits

Child's Placemat Showing Good Table Manners
I think the teaching values and good habits helps with the other three.  Children used to be taught how to share, to be considerate of others, and of course good manners.  Being a good sport and congratulating the winning team even when you were the loser was also taught.  We valued each other and respected other’s property.  Can we still say that today?

I can recall a time when my dad went to help someone work on their house.  Most of his children were there fetching items for him and otherwise staying out of the way.  During the day, we were given lunch by the people whose house my dad was working on.  We kids were politely asking "please," saying "thank you" or "your welcome" during the meal; as well as "yes sir" and "no mam" throughout the day.  On the way home, my dad said how proud he was of our good manners and that the home owners mentioned them too.  It made us feel good that our mom had taught us how to behave in the home of others.  She did this by practice at home and reinforcing the preferred behavior at family gatherings and events outside the home.  For my mom, good manners were a true sign of respect for others.

Manners are not a generational issue; manners are a social issue. Recently I saw an example of generations at my local community center.  In front of me in the sign-in line was a Dad and his teen-aged child.  The Dad signed in and to the receptionist he said “Basketball, please.”  He was given a ball, he said “Thanks.” and went into the gym.  Then his child signed-in, said simply “Basketball,” took the ball without saying anything else and walked into the gym.  (Before anyone gets sexist and thinks “That is how teenage boys are…” the child was actually a girl.)   For a societal view, you may want to read Smart Company magazine’s Why Manners and Courtesy are Vital for Successful Sales, Businesses and Societies.  For more of a business view, you may want to check out Is the Era of Incivility Going to Destroy American Business?

Now I will transition from manners and basketballs to the related topic of sportsmanship.  I also remember when contests and sporting events had winners and losers.  Now that only seems to exist in professional sports. Now, everyone gets a trophy for just showing up, so who was the winner?  What does that teach children about handling loss and being a good sport?  How do they learn to handle their emotions or manage themselves during conflict?  If everyone is always a winner, then what happens when they do not get a scholarship or a promotion later in life?

I know there are still parents out there teaching their kids to say thanks and please.  I have seen and heard them tell their children “What do you say?”  I have also heard parents say (and read on Facebook) how proud they were when someone complemented their children on their good behavior or excellent manners.   Would the world be a nicer place to live if we all could learn to practice good manners? I think YES!  Teach children manners at home, so they have that as a habit, and you may not have to remind them to do so outside the home.  Teach children how to handle losing and you may not experience whining when they do not get all that they desire later on.

Even if you may not share my thoughts on manners (and if you have good eyesight), you may want to check out this blog post, Five Reasons Manners are Important with quotes from Clarence Thomas and Emily Post.  You may also want to visit this home skills website and read How You Benefit from Proper Etiquette to see why manners are important for every generation.

How Can We Stop the Rudeness Infecting America?

Is it just me or do you see that people are becoming more and more rude with every generation?  Why is this? And how can we stop it?   Is it the fault of the ME generation that was deemed selfish?  Or is the problem really with X, Y, and Z (aka new GenME)?  Have we raised (or are raising) children that think only of themselves?  Are manners and thoughtfulness things of the past? 

I think the rudeness is part of incivility trend that has been crawling across the country for several years.  In the past, Americans respected government offices, such as president, and would never be disrespectful of the person holding the office even if they had lost trust in the individual.  The attacks on the new president when he speaks are not so different from those on other presidents when they were new to the office.  Trump (Republican) Obama (Democrat), Bush (Rep), and Clinton (Dem) were also disrespected by either the media or select politicians claiming to represent the citizens.  As you can see by the list, we show our discontent with a presidential party and their politics by selecting a different one the next time. 

Discontent is no excuse for rudeness and disrespect!  How can anyone be rude to the president and claim to represent the majority of citizens when they were elected based upon a majority vote?  It is just an excuse; get over the politics of the election and give the new guy a chance to do his job. (This is basically what we hear every time a new party takes office.)  Stop being rude and start respecting the office!  Show respect until the new person actually does something to destroy our trust.  Those in power that are not supportive and overly apologetic (often without getting all the information) are showing disrespect for the office of president and for the citizens (most likely their own constituents) that voted for that president. 

I am putting politics aside now and explaining that I do not think we can blame any particular generation for the rudeness (aka era of incivility and viral vs privacy ethics).  We need to lead by example and everyone must teach their children their own personal values and acceptable behaviors.  Plus, we all have to take responsibility for allowing everyone else to be rude and accepting incivility in the past if we want to change the future.  

On that note, as we grow from children to adults, we learn the difference between a privilege and a right.   The opportunity to protest is a privilege that not many other countries have.  Freedom of speech is a right, doing it unlawfully or violently is not.  

Below are a few books by psychologists, sociologists, and others on what rudeness/incivility is doing to hurt America.
- A Short History of Rudeness (2015) by Mark Caldwell – how it is hurting families
- End of Discussion (2015) by Mary Katharine Ham and Guy Benson – how PC is hurting this country
- The Outrage Industry (2013) by Jeffrey M. Berry and Sarah Sobieraj  – how media is confusing citizens
- Incivility (2010) by Phillip Smith, Timothy Phillips, Ryan King – how it is hurting communities
For books on how it is hurting business, read Is the Era of Incivility Going to Destroy American Business?

This post is my opinion based on personal observation.  I have a right to my opinion and I respect anyone’s right to have a different opinion.  You are welcome to comment on this post if you do so respectively.  Personal attacks, rude text, and profanity are NOT welcome here.  Thanks for your understanding.


Organizing Email and Interoffice Memos to Save Time

Junk Mail Pile 
Are you are getting too many electronic mail (email) messages to read or interoffice memos coming across the desk too often?  Are you experiencing information overload, then you need to find a way to reduce correspondence.  Reduce unnecessary information overload.

Get off lists. If you are on memos or emails as a "Copy To" for information only and you know you can do without seeing everything related to the subject, ask to be taken off the list or only notified where an action on your part is necessary.   

Schedule your time.  Instead of reading and responding to all your correspondence when one comes in, plan specified times during the day for responses.  Try first thing in the morning, before lunch, and/or before leaving for the day to see what works for you.

Save if important.  If you need to file any correspondence manually or electronically for future reference, you should file it by subject or project for easy retrieval.  Most email systems allow for creation of on-line folders where important emails may move to for saving.  Some email systems also may be set-up to move items into folders automatically based upon subject or can have reminder prompts set for when an email response or action is due.

Trash if not important.  Emails or interoffice memos that do require your action or have information not pertinent to your responsibilities should be read and trashed immediately.  Keeping unnecessary information only clutters your files and inbox, which results in wasted time later re-reading when trying to clean out later.

Be concise.  When you are sending memos or email to others, keep text concise and to the point.  Be sure when you are replying that your replies are only sent to the sender or includes only those others that need the information.  In other words, do not “Copy All” or “Reply All”.

Provide optional details.  When you are sending emails and memos insert hyperlinks (URL) and attachments if more detail may be necessary for readers to follow through.  Utilizing sources outside of your text is a great way to share documents and information without having to type data into an email or memo.  If you are software when sending large documents or graphic files, consider using zip files as email attachments.  Zipping a file will compress the file size and make the item upload and download faster. 

Keep contact information.  It is wise for you to have a contact database on your computer to avoid having to keep files or a paper address book for this data.  Most email tools come with a contact database where you can enter email addresses, phone numbers, and other contact data.  To save time in the future, most email tools allow for clicking on the email address to start a new email to the contact.  Some also allow clicking on the contact’s phone number to have the computer place a call.

Build groups. Many email tools have the ability to set up group addresses with an ID you create.  This saves time as you can set up the ID to send an email to multiple addresses without having to find each person in your contacts.    For printed interoffice memos, consider making a routing sheet including names of team or committee members who typically need to see the same information.


For more ideas, see the articles below.
Email

Files